Though placing a child for adoption may be the right decision for both of you, that does not mean that it is an easy process. You may still experience feelings of guilt, grief or loss. Staying in contact with the child through open adoption may help ease these negative feelings but not avoid them completely.
However, there are ways that you can make peace with your decision, resolve your grief and integrate the loss into your ongoing life so that you can move forward. There are a number of resources and coping strategies that may be helpful.
It can be difficult to seek out professional counseling. However, a mental health provider can teach you strategies that can help you deal with your emotions in a constructive way and keep things in the proper perspective.
You may feel alone in your feelings of sorrow or regret after placing a child for adoption. However, these feelings are normal, and you can do research online to find information for birth parents dealing with emotions like these in websites, blogs, articles and books.
Creating a journal, whether you write it by hand and keep it for your private use or create an online blog and make it accessible to others, can be an outlet for the emotions that you are feeling. If you write a blog and choose to share it publicly, others may benefit from your experience.
Performing a ritual
There are many rituals that people use to mark major life changes: graduations, weddings, funerals, etc. The adoption of a child is a major transition for both you and the adoptive parent. You may choose to hold an entrustment ceremony to allow you to say goodbye to your child and mark the change of parental roles. This can help provide closure and give you a sense of control over the placement.
If you and the adoptive parents choose to hold an entrustment ceremony, you can tailor it to suit your wishes. There are no firm rules or guidelines that govern this.